I’ve become a big bag of emotions lately.
Normally I’m pretty good at keeping my emotions at check. Not that I’m a heartless person or anything, I just don’t like to cry in front of people, or that headache feel you get after crying that is sometimes just really annoying. But as my departure date for India nears, my time in the general vicinity of Jackson also comes to an end. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely ecstatic about going to India and moving to Maryland, but the latter is signaling a major life change.
This emotional spin began when I was driving home from visiting Cape last week as it finally sunk in, more so than it did when I actually moved out of Cape, that I no longer live there anymore. I had to pack a bag to visit a place I called home for two years, when the only thing that was really different was the fact that I am no longer a resident.
So, naturally, I broke down crying while listening to Carly Simon on the way back to Jackson, becoming a little cliche of a typical 20s year old woman. I tried to stop, but then I remembered a story my dad told me of how he cried when moving from Athens, GA, where he had lived for college, to Tampa, Florida for a new job, and decided that if my dad cried over a move, it was okay if I did too.
But you know it’s like they say, although I’m not really sure who the “they” is, that once you open that door of emotions, it’s hard to close. Now I find myself crying at almost anything—I had to control myself when watching Valentine’s Day yesterday while running because just thinking about the scene where the Julia Roberts character surprises her young son was going to make me cry.
I guess this how it’s supposed to be when a major life change occurs. I remember crying my first night at college, even though I was only 10 minutes from home, simply because of the change. But I think the really difference this time is going to be that I have to move two days after getting back from India and I know I won’t be just ready to leave Rahul, and then my family, all within a week’s span. That, more than anything, is going to be a major crybaby week for me. But instead of focusing too much on that, I’m becoming more and more excited (like by the minute) about seeing Rahul (!!!) and seeing India, and embarking on a new school adventure in a new place.