I’m Boycotting Traffic Circles

My weekend.

What do you do when you’re tired of doing schoolwork? Drive into D.C. to go grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s, of course.

Those of you from this area will know that there are three Trader Joe’s options in the D.C. area–Alexandria, D.C. proper, and Silver Spring. The last one is the closest to me, and the one I usually visit. But on two occasions now, I’ve trekked to the D.C. location just to be able to purchase Two Buck Chuck.

If you’ve never had Two Buck Chuck, you are missing out. Not only is the wine $2.99, it’s also delicious. The Pinot Grigiot is like juice. I suggest trying some for your own health and

Y.U.M. Thank you, Trader Joe's, for filling me with delicious foods.

deliciousness.

But that’s not the point here–the point is that I have decided I’m boycotting traffic circles. Not roundabouts. Well, I guess roundabouts too. I just learned through a little Wikipedia research that traffic circles are usually controlled by some kind of stop sign where roundabouts are not. I have beef with traffic circles.

D.C. is full of them, too. I guess it’s supposed to eliminate some traffic problems, or some shit like that, but I really could care less. They cause me so much grief I want to start ripping my hair out. I looked and some French guy, Eugene Henard, invented the traffic circle. I want to find Eugene, shake him, and ask him “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!”

Now I believe I handle traffic circles better than Clark Griswold in London, but not by much. One wrong movement in a traffic circle and you’re suddenly heading down P Street instead of continuing on Rhode Island Avenue like you’re supposed to (Logan Circle, I’m talking about you). And you can’t be that jackass in the traffic circle who realizes at the last minute that you’re supposed to be on the inner lane instead of the outer lane, stop and wait to get over, thus causing a bunch of car-horn honking from the people behind you. I have a Tennessee license plate. Despite the “University of Maryland” sticker, it’s still pretty obvious I don’t belong. People get mad at those who don’t belong, especially when it comes to D.C. drivers.

I ended up making it to Trader Joe’s in one piece, but I must say that Dupont Circle is just ridiculous. Is there any need for a traffic circle to be that enormous? I mean, it’s pretty and all, and has that nice little grassy area in the middle, but when you’re driving in and not walking, it totally takes on a different demeanor. The nice grassy pleasantness of it instead becomes a terrifying, fast paced, beat-all-the-other-cars-in-the-circle-to-my-destination, cluster.

Fun traffic times on Rhode Island Ave.

Plus, D.C. traffic is ridiculous as it is. Luckily I left at good times on Friday and missed most of the really bad traffic, but I still got caught up in more stop-go situations than this Tennessee girl prefers. And to add insult to injury, I just looked and D.C. apparently has 34 traffic circles. 34!!!! If you don’t believe me, look here. What is the reason for so many?

I know what you’re thinking–that I could not just drive. But, there’s an advantage to having a car, especially when you get in a “let’s go right now” mood, one that public transportation sometimes doesn’t fulfill.

Maybe I’m missing the point on traffic circles. But, for now, I’m boycotting them. My boycott will probably be something akin to Lindsay Bluth’s boycotts in “Arrested Development.” But, for now, that’s where I stand, reason be damned.

In other news, Pi Kappa Alpha Does Christmas:

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree, you're so little yet still so festive.

 

I'm a big fan of holiday banners.

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2 thoughts on “I’m Boycotting Traffic Circles

  1. BEEN LAX ABOUT READING YOUR UPDATES. WAS UP EARLY, 5 AM AND REMEMBERED I HAD NOT SENT UNCLE PAUL AN ADDRESS HE NEEDED AND THEN OPENED YOUR BLOG, IS THAT THE RIGHT TERM. ANYWAY, THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE IN CAMBRIDGE, MA ASK SOMEONE TO DRIVE YOU AROUND THE CIRCLE OR ROTARY NEAR FRESH POND. MAYBE YOU HAVE BEEN THERE, MAN TALK ABOUT A NERVOUS STOMACH. IF I EVER DROVE IT MYSELF I MUST HAVE HAD MY EYES CLOSED. BY NOW YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT THESE NORTHERN DRIVERS. OR GO DOWNTOWN BOSTON AND DRIVE ALONG THOSE NARROW STREETS, CARS HONKING, PEOPLE TRYING TO CROSS STREETS JUST WAITING FOR A BREAK AND RUN LIKE CRAZY. I THINK I MISS MY HOMETOWN EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. LOVE YOU, OH EVELYN!

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