I Almost Always Get Hit By Bikes

There a few things in my life that are consistently true, and one of them is that I almost always get hit by bikes.

I don’t know what it is about me that screams TARGET to bicyclists but I come into some kind of close contact with a biker—whether it be a swoosh, a graze, or else—on a weekly basis. Nothing marks the semester being back in full swing like a guy rushing past me on his bike on his apparent rush to get to the gym just after I crossed the BUSY FOUR WAY STREET. I mean, did he not see me? Does he not have brakes? And, for god’s sake, when you’re biking at night put some damn reflectors on your bicycle!

The whole thing just makes me bitter because this has happened way too many times. I may or may not have mentioned the time when I literally did get hit by a bike my freshman year and fell to the ground. Luckily, my backpack cushioned me and I wasn’t really injured. But still! You’re on a two-wheeled MOVING object, and I’m on two legs.

I became a little more understanding after I purchased my own bike and realized how hard, un-fun, and nearly impossible it is to bike on some of the major roads in the area. The sidewalks are not the best option, but sometimes ya have to. But I STILL find it hard to tolerate those who bike on the sidewalks like a bunch of DAMN FOOLS. I may find you annoying when you yell “BIKE BACK” several times, even after you’ve passed me (as happened to Rahul and I on the lake loop trail), but I will find you immensely even more annoying if you don’t warn me you’re about to pass me.

So to sum up: for you terrible bike riders that nearly hit me, I’M COMING FOR ALL Y’ALL.

Also, another thing that has been true for the last three awards shows Rahul and I have watched together (Academy Awards x 2, Golden Globes x 1) is that I have won the most correct guesses for the winners. But last night he bested me at the Emmy’s…sigh. Until next time, Rahul. UNTIL NEXT TIME.